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“The Way of Forgiveness” returns
with a healing attitude for our contentious times.
CONTRIBUTE NOW TO THE 20th YEAR EDITION
At a time when angry shouting seems to dominate the airwaves and public discussions, Fearless Books announces the return of a classic book dedicated to the radical notion that forgiveness is the key to real power.
THE WAY OF FORGIVENESS: Letting Go, Easing Stress, and Building Strength first appeared in 1994 as“A Little Book of Forgiveness” (Viking) and has since changed the lives of many thousands of readers. The new Fearless Books edition features revised material throughout, including expanded instructions for the classic “Seven Steps of Forgiveness” devised by author D. Patrick Miller, based on more than two decades of studying and practicing the principles of forgiveness in his own life.
“Shouting and condemning others can seem like a righteous demonstration of strength,” says Miller. “But rants and outbursts seldom solve any problems, and often create new ones. I think many people mistake forgiveness as a way to avoid conflict or let people off the hook. The kind of forgiveness I am talking about is a daily discipline of learning to see things differently, which enables you to respond to challenges with clarity, compassion, and ingenuity. If you really want to change things and have a lasting effect on people, forgiveness is a better strategy than anything else.”
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When first published in 1994, this was a book whose ideas and message were ahead of its time. . . Since 1996 I have directed the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, a series of research endeavors that helped substantiate the power of forgiveness to reduce hurt, depression, anger and stress in people who hold grudges. . . In addition to this research I also have taught forgiveness to tens of thousands of hurt and angry people. What I find fascinating is that the things I taught, researched and proved to be true, D. Patrick Miller already knew. . . from the Foreword by FREDERIC LUSKIN, Ph.D., Director of Stanford Forgiveness Projects
“With The Way of Forgiveness, D. Patrick Miller makes the advanced form of forgiveness found in A Course in Miracles very approachable, without compromising on its profound and startling message. Having known Patrick for many years, I can say he doesn’t just write about these principles, he truly lives them. I highly recommend this book to all spiritual seekers. You won’t be able to put it down.” • GARY RENARD, author of The Disappearance of the Universe and Your Immortal Reality
What beautiful work. . . clearheaded, generous, and profound in its lush simplicity. WALLY LAMB, novelist, author of Shes Come Undone and The Hour I First Believed
This helped me go to a deeper level on my own path of forgiveness. Its a wonderful book! LOUISE HAY, author of You Can Heal Your Life
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging and powerful teachings of healing. The Way of Forgiveness is filled with compassion and wisdom. JOAN BORYSENKO, author of Inner Peace for Busy Women and Minding the Body, Mending the Mind
An outstanding resource, this book gave me a jump start into the healing work of forgiveness. I have used it effectively in a variety of workshops, including ones at Attica Correctional Facility. SUSAN REGEN, forgiveness workshop leader in New York“What a gem of a book this is! As a psychotherapist, I can use it over and over with my clients, who often need to forgive. As a seeker, I learned a lot from reading it. The Seven Steps of Forgiving are so valuable and clear; and the rest of the book reads like the wisdom of Zen masters. It’s uplifting, refreshing and challenging at the same time. The author obviously has walked this journey for a long time, and has left guideposts for those who follow. Do yourself a favor, and buy it as a gift to your spirit. Then, buy a few more copies for those you love. They’ll know it means you love them.” • TINA B. TESSINA, “Dr. Romance”
SEND 15 COPIES TO PRISONERS
Help Fearless Books make this healing book available at cost to prisoners. When you choose this option, 15 copies will be made available to prisons or prison workshop leaders who have placed requests. (Sorry, this purchase is not a tax deduction.)
Bookstores: This title is available from New Leaf Distributing (800-326-2665).
TABLE OF CONTENTS FOR
THE WAY OF FORGIVENESS
by Frederic Luskin, Ph.D.
Seven Steps of
Where Forgiveness Leads
The Seven Steps
It might seem a lot easier to forgive someone if only he or she would show signs of changing. The paradox is that we are unlikely to see signs of change in others until we have forgiven them. This is true for two reasons: First, resentment is blinding. It limits our perception of what is real (or changing) in the present, and shuts down our capacity to envision a happier future. Second, a subtle but crucial function of forgiveness is that it tacitly gives others permission to change...
When you are trying to decide whether someone deserves your forgiveness, you are asking the wrong question. Ask instead whether you deserve to become someone who consistently forgives.
Sweet revenge is junk food for the soul. The brief rush that revenge provides will always be followed by the degradation of ones character. There is a real joy to be found in setting things right, but that always involves changing oneself for the better first.
Forgiving your flaws and failures does not mean looking away from them or lying about them. Look at them as a string of pitiful or menacing hitchhikers whom you cant afford not to pick up on your journey to a changed life. Each one of them has a piece of the map you need hidden in its shabby clothing...
Forgiveness is a long night walk by the ocean at ebb tide, with the surf only murmuring.
Forgiveness replaces the need to anticipate fearfully with the capacity to accept gracefully and improvise brilliantly. It does not argue with fate, but recognizes the opportunities latent within it. If necessity is the mother of invention, forgiveness is the midwife of genius.
Forgiveness is not mere sympathy, nor condescension, nor forced generosity. It is the ultimate declaration of equality, founded on the recognition that all crimes are the same crime, every failing the human failing, and every insult a cry for help.
Forgiveness is the science of the heart: a discipline of discovering all the ways of being that will extend your love to the world, and discarding all the ways that do not.
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