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Ever Heard This One?

Rush Limbaugh made broadcast history in 2004 when, commenting on images of abuse from Abu Ghraib, he rhetorically asked his listeners, “You ever heard of emotional release? You ever heard of the need to blow some steam off?”

Limbaugh was widely rebuked, yet how much more offensive and patently asinine might he have come across had he put it simply like this: “Our soldiers were enjoying a little emotional release. They were just blowing off some steam.”

“Ever heard of” can be a sneaky way to advance a weak argument. When the phrase is meant literally, as in “Have you ever heard of that guy who invented both the mosquito net and the modem?” it’s not a problem. But used rhetorically, “ever heard of?” implies that you’re ridiculous if you disagree with the speaker’s view of things.

Another example: A friend, explaining why Nixon escalated the Vietnam War after becoming president, asked, “Ever heard of finishing what you’ve started?” Well, of course I’ve heard of it. But is it a universal principle? “Always finish what you start”?

A fairer way for this person to have made his point might have been to say, “There is value in finishing what you start, even if it’s a war, even arguably a misguided war.” This would have invited further discussion, whereas the purpose of “ever heard of?” seems to be to curtail thought in a debate.

Oh Well . . .

Another word I’ve had my eye on recently is “well.” Was there ever a time when people did not begin half their statements with the word “Well”? Have you ever noticed how often you start sentences with that word? Well, what does it mean?

Random House Webster’s Dictionary defines “well” as an interjection “used to introduce a sentence, resume a conversation etc.”-- which basically means that “well” is simply a convention that means nothing at all.

Then again, the dictionary also states that “well” is sometimes “used to express surprise, reproof, etc.” as in “Well, there’s no need to yell!”

All well and good, but if we look a little closer, we see that “well” can suggest much more than this. Much like “ever heard of?”, “well” is often employed as a sneaky persuader. One of its implied connotations is “I hate to have to say this, but it’s obvious.” For example, “Well, your idea is unworkable.” “Your story is, well, completely ridiculous.”

“Well” can falsely suggest a softening, almost apologetic quality, even when it precedes a blatantly offensive remark. “Well, I just think your performance was pathetic.” In an instance like this, “well” stands in for “I’m sorry, but . . .”
 
Probably the most common, and most deceptive, usage of “well” is to imply humility, before making a big claim. Politicians do this. Ronald Reagan was the master at it. He famously fielded questions from reporters by starting with “Well,” and then a self-effacing downward glance, and a moment’s pause. But his unshakable sense of righteousness was really the opposite of humility, so his use of the qualifier “well” was downright OrWELLian. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Of course, “well” has many other, more innocent purposes. It’s often used as a way of buying time, hesitating before speaking, indicating that we’re not entirely sure of something. But still, it’s amazing, isn’t it? Even a simple little word like “well” is one we need to keep honest.

A Couple of Obvious Ones

A couple of my favorite over-qualifiers are “fact is” and “truth be told.” They’re not used much anymore, but every once in a while, you may hear someone trying to sound like the earnest salt of the earth: “Fact is, you said earlier that . . .” or “Truth be told, I was only trying to . . .”

These introductory phrases are declarations of pristine sincerity. But since we would like to assume anyway that people are telling the truth, the question is: Why should anyone have to rhetorically emphasize their own honesty? To me, that’s a red flag.

 

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Rebuttals?

Send ‘em on! Respond to marc@marcwordsmith.com. (If you allow me, I might even include some of your feedback in the next Watch Words, with due credit to you of course.)

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COPYRIGHT 2006 BY MARC POLONSKY. ALL RIGHTS, INCLUDING ELECTRONIC, RESERVED.

 

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